Lately, I've become more acutely aware of the role of laughter as a coping mechanism and will address it more fully. However, I will address the coping mechanisms I see.
Sometimes it is a fine line, between healthy and unhealthy. For example, anger can be a necessary component of processing, but too much can be poisonous or destructive. Similarly, relationships can give us comfort from pain, but shouldn't be a mechanism to completely avoid it.
- Negative Emotional coping
- Sarcasm
- Sometimes it can be funny, but sometimes it can be very hostile.
- Very often a detached way of expressing true feelings.
- Can be anger masked by a veneer of 'witty'
- Anger
- Can be healthy, a stage, a part of the process. e.g., Anger at a loved one for not taking care of his/herself and/or leaving behind a mess when they pass away.
- Too large of a dose of it at once and/or too extended of a dose can move from simple venting to self-poisoning.
- Bitterness
- Often reflected in sarcastic tones.
- Can be anger that has hardened.
- Cathartic/Comforting
- Sadness
- A general feeling of blue.
- Often characterized by the inability to 'move'. Emotional molasses.
- Depression
- Sadness that has hardened to the point of almost a numbness.
- Deep emotional molasses.
- Crying
- The pain becomes so acute, that it literally hurts to keep it in.
- Releases the toxins or poisons from our body
- Release endorphins.
- Laughter
- Can be finding joy where little exists.
- Can be making the best out of a rough circumstance
- Can provide a faux happy appearance where there is real pain waiting to be released.
- Faith/Spiritual/Relational
- Prayer
- Reaching out to our Higher Power/God. Asking Him to take away or give us the tools to better manage our burdens.
- Meditation
- Pushing out the negative energy.
- Focusing on the positive.
- Counseling/Writing/Sharing
- Working through to the cause/root of the pain.
- Determining what is real/valid and what isn't.
- Discussing/hashing through the steps of healing.
- Friendships/Relationships
- Can be like our own personal counseling.
- Can give us a reprieve from the pain.
- Can let us know that we have support.
- If we rely solely on them to cope, we may be excluding effectively taking other steps to work though/deal with our pain.
- Destructive/Addictive coping
- Drugs/Alcohol
- Relying on a chemical to deal with what we should be processing.
- Destructive to progress, physically unhealthy and can be deadly.
- Relational
- Relying on addiction to other people--real or 'imaginary'-- affairs/porn.
- Reaching so heavily and often for it can suck the productive life out of us.
- Circumstances/Things
- Compulsive gambling, compulsive shopping, hoarding are examples.
- Expensive and drain us of emotional/necessary physical resources
- OCD behaviors
- Eating disorders, excessive cleaning are some examples.
- Time consuming and can in some cases be physically damaging.
I am sure there are many more ways of coping. But those are the ones I readily see. As I indicated I've become more acutely aware over time of the role of laughter in coping. A sarcastic, condescending laughter is the way a narcissist might deal with pain/loss. A nervous or excessive laughter is often a way of 'laughing vs. crying'. In each case, there is a feeling of acute or intense pain. In the one case, you may be avoiding displaying pain by pushing it out into laughter. It can appear as being cheerful or happy--sometimes wittingly and sometimes unwittingly--but often is really a way of avoiding the vulnerable appearance of crying.
I well known saying is that "Laughter is good for the soul." But, if it is a way of avoiding the other necessary coping mechanisms, it can be a nice storefront to a rotting soul.
That being said, by all means I encourage people to laugh until their heart is content, but make sure it isn't completely at the expense of crying, praying, writing, meditating, etc.
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