"Award-winning" songs: My take on music

I was listening to a song earlier today and I got an idea for a blog.  I'm a bit sarcastic and at times jaded and with my love of music this blog idea seemed like a natural.

How about listing songs I like or have caught my attention and give dubious awards for them.

So without further ado:

"Award-Winning" Songs

• World's most melancholy song - Christopher Cross - Arthur's Theme (Best that you can do)

• 1st Runner-Up - Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 

• 2nd Runner-Up - Blind Melon - No Rain

• Song most likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy when listened to too often - twenty one pilots - Stressed Out

• "Funniest Suicide Song" - Johnny Mandel - Suicide is Painless (M.A.S.H Theme)

• 1st Runner-Up Queen - Don't Try Suicide

• Worst song to give to your severely depressed friend - Collective Soul - World I Know

• 1st Runner-Up - Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun

• 2nd Runner-Up - Evanescence - Bring Me To Life

• Best song to glamorize domestic violence - Eminem - Love the way you lie.

• Best "coming out" song, that isn't actually a "coming out of the closet" song - Notorious BIG - Mo money Mo problems ft. Diddy & Mase

• Best you had your chance, but blew it song - Toby Keith - How do you like me now?

• 1st Runner Up - Dr. Dre - I Need A Doctor (Explicit) ft. Eminem, Skylar Grey

• 2nd Runner-Up - Third Eye Blind - How's it going to be?

• Best song glamorizing pot - Tom Petty - You Don't Know How It Feels

• 1st Runner Up - Tom Petty - Last Dance with Mary Jane

• 2nd Runner Up - Dr. Dre - The Next Episode ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt, Nate Dogg

• Most embarrassing song performed by a grown man. - Donny Osmond - Soldier of Love

• 1st Runner-up - Rick Astley - Never gonna give you up.
• 2nd Runner-up - Rod Stewart - Love Touch

• Song most likely to for no apparent reason make you want to beat the artist of the song - Spin Doctor - Two Princes

• Best tell the parents to kiss off song - MAGIC! - Rude

• Best blame others for the world's problems song - Billy Joel - We didn't start the fire

• Best song to capture gratitude for loyalty - Shaggy - Angel ft. Rayvon

• 1st Runner-Up - R. City - Locked Away ft. Adam Levine

• Best song to play when caught in a lie with your significant other - Shaggy - 'It Wasn't Me (Official Music Video)

• Best song for a pity party - David Lee Roth - Just A Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody

• Most annoying I don't need a man song - Gloria Gaynor - I will survive

• Best song to Rick-Roll someone with - Rick Astley - Never gonna give you up.

• Song a guy should never be caught dead singing in public (and if so, make sure to follow-up with Metallica immediately for damage control or act like you are drunk and being stupid) - Aqua - Barbie Girl

• 1st Runner-Up - Christina Aguilera - Genie In A Bottle

• 2nd Runner-Up - The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men

• 3rd Runner-Up - Divinyls - I Touch Myself

• Unfortunately, this list could go on for hours.  

• Song to dedicated to an obsessed ex - Exposé - I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me

• 1st Runner-Up Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca

• Song that a woman shouldn't be caught dead singing  - Exposé - I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me

• Best kiss off songs - Paul Carrack - Don't Shed A Tear

• 1st Runner-Up -  Everclear - Now That its Over

• 2nd Runner-Up - Gloria Gaynor - I will survive  (hate to include this one)...

And the Grammy goes to...