Strays, Part 2: Those whose struggles we struggle with.

I recently read about and heard a lecture from and will probably buy a book of a man who was at age 12 started to lose his ability to communicate with others and fell into a vegetative state.  After less than three years, started to regain consciousness. By age 19 he was fully conscience, but with exception of eyes, was unable to move and thus found it hard to let anyone know he was conscience and aware.  Eventually a compassionate and perceptive caregiver realized when talking with him that he 'was there' and understood him.  By age 25, he was sent to Center For Augmentative and Alternative Communication at the University of Pretoria, where they tested him and realized that he was conscience and aware--essentially that he was 'alive' as we know it.  He was a boy, then later a man trapped in a locked body.  He effectively lost his ability to communicate in virtually any way. His name is Martin Pistorious and his story is told in a book called Ghost Boy.  He eventually gained some control over his upper body and was able to communicate with others via computer software and now he even wheelchair races.

I had written a blog called Strays: Thoughts on those who don't conform or fit in.  It was about those who don't fit into society's mold of what is preferred or acceptable.  Effectively, in a way I see outsiders as 'strays' of a sort.   After reading Martin's story, I feel compelled to expand my definition of 'strays' or give a specific category of strays.  If we live long enough--usually by an early age--we run across and struggle with those who struggle physically, mentally and/or emotionally.  I think individually many people struggle with them.  I believe as a society we struggle with them.  To me these are the true 'strays'.   It's one thing being an outsider and being largely invisible.  It's quite another having struggles you didn't bring on yourself  that literally few around you can relate to or even know how to deal with.

Mr. Pistorious was alive and aware but he was literally out of reach of people.  For most he was a chore, something to take care of.  He was a living shell of a human, but not a person.  It got me to remember someone in high school.   I knew a kid in high school who had stunted growth and got around in a wheel chair and reminds me of a teenage version of a Shiner's Hospital kid.  I sat with him, but I didn't fully embrace him as I was not sure and a bit selfish.  Instead of focusing on a possible friend,  I was worried about how poorly I fit in and how I'd wished I'd fit in better with the "cool kids".  I have thought about that circumstance from time to time and have felt ashamed of myself that I didn't embrace him more and be a true friend.  I don't know what happened him or if he's still alive, but my hope is that he was able to have a fulfilling life despite his limitations and despite not being embraced properly by people like me.

I guess my point is this, when given the chance take some time out, go out of your comfort zone and embrace someone who is not easy to embrace, that you struggle with embracing.  I don't mean to not embrace the 'run-of-the-mill' outsider, but take the time to embrace those who could use a little compassion and love.  Yeah, it might awkward, you might not know exactly what to say or do, but do a random act of kindness.   At this time our nation is in the clutches of a pandemic, so the opportunities might be more limited, but I would guess there still are some.  When it lifts, opportunities will be plentiful.

Whether it is volunteering to feed the homeless, to offer childcare at a 'crisis nursery', to sing to the elderly, to plant a flag for our fallen soldiers or veterans at a memorial, or to help a sick kid get a wish, they opportunities are out there to embrace 'true strays'.

 - Rich

•  Even fallen soldiers are strays, they are people who deserve to be remembered or thought of.  You may never get spiritual feedback from them, but I think on some level, you will give something to them.  Whether it is to their spirit or to the families that lost the loved older one, you are still giving.