Searching and Fearless: Thoughts on Addiction/Codependence and Human Nature: insane voice

Showing posts with label insane voice. Show all posts

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The insane voice, installment 7: The contrarian.

As I've went from childhood to adulthood, my life was animated by questioning everything. I've always been a truth-seeker. But, part of being a truth-seeker to me is asking the questions that no one else asks. That is, the what ifs. In that vein, I like to think of my self as a contrarian. Sometimes that comes out as "the devil's advocate", sometimes that comes out as sarcasm and sometimes it comes out as "out there". I will let you determine which category each of these thoughts fall into. In the meantime, please enjoy the Installment 7 of "The Insane Voice".

1) One time I was reading through an Entertainment coupon book and noticed that some of the coupons said "Enjoy a free such and such with the purchase of a such and such". It occurred to me that the vendor/store in the Entertainment book was kind of bossing me around. It wasn't like "we hope you enjoy" or "Have a free" or anything like that, but instead almost a demand that I enjoy the free such and such. I one time while using a coupon at the store, said to them, "What happens if I decide to get the free one, but not enjoy it?" They were left speechless. I believe I won that encounter. HA

2) While at physical therapy the other day, U2 was playing, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" and you know how serious and preachy Bono is. It occurred to me, "Has he found what he's looking for yet?" and "Isn't 30 years long enough to find it?" and "If you can't find what your looking for, isn't it just time to shut up and give it a rest?"

3) So, we all know about the "Little Boy Who Cried Wolf". But, who have has given thought to the "Wolf Who Cried Little Boy"? Didn't see that coming did ya? Anyway, I figure his fellow wolves probably get sick of him crying "little boy" and them coming to discover there was no little boy out there to chase after. Finally one day after they'd had enough he legitimately cried, "little boy" and they ignored him, So, he went after the little boy without the others having his back and got a beatdown from the little boy, thereby teaching him not to cry "little boy" recklessly.

4) The song "Black Widow" by Iggy Izalea, she sing the line "I'm going to love ya until you hate me". It occurred to me, what if it was turned around: "I'm going to hate ya until you love me. Would the song be called "Loveable Jerk"?

5) So one time I saw a clerk name "Mary" at Walgreens and I was in a particularly goofy mood and asked her, "Why you always gotta be so contrary?" As if not missing a beat, Mary the clerk said, "Well someone's gotta be". Suffice to say, clerk Mary won that match. BOO

6) I may have mentioned this before. But when my dad was dying and my old minister visited him in the hospital with me, we were at the elevator and I said to him, "How long have you been practicing" in relation to his time in the minister. It was 20-something years if I recall. So, it occurred to me and I posed this to him: "If practice makes perfect and you've been practicing for a long time, does that mean that you're perfect?" He gave his, "yeah wise guy" type smile and said, "It doesn't exactly work that way." Good comeback.

7) I recently went to subway to pick up food for the family and noticed a sign on the door: "Now Hiring Great People" and something occurred to me. Does that mean they used to hire lousy people? I went in and asked and they laughed. I said, no offense to you guys, they probably already got rid of the lousy ones.

8) If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are those who have gender identity confusion from? I will leave that one right there and if you find this rude, just remember I didn't put the rude thought in your mind that you are thinking right now. ^..^

On that note, I will bid you all a fond farewell. Adios, goodbye, cya, ciao, bon voyage and so on and so forth... Until next time.

Insane voice, installment 1

Insane voice, installment 2

Insane voice, installment 3

Insane voice, installment 4

Insane voice, installment 5

Insane voice, installment 6

Insane voice, installment 7

Insane voice, installment 8

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The insane voice, installment 4: Random bag of goodies...

I don't know if 'zany' or 'eccentric' thinking is a product of venting stress, of expressing existing insanity, shaking things up a little or expressing comic relief. Either way, I think everyone has what I call an 'insane' voice. Some just deny it, some suppress it, some let it out for a bit and then there are some that just live it-- the Robin Williams of the world, RIP.

In other case, it's time for another installment of "The insane voice". In no particular order.

So, I was at QT the other day near my work and they got slammed around lunchtime. I think their customers must have been making a little noise chatting it out in line because as I was checking out, a thought occurred to me. Should I say to the clerk aloud where others could here it: Did the local mental hospital just let out their patients out on a field trip? But, I thought it wouldn't go over well and the good people of Alton might not see the humor.

So, my daughter and I were driving along and we saw a person running. I had this crazy idea. What if Olivia and I turned the corner as quickly as we could stopped the car, got out and ran as fast as we could to catch up to her and I had Olivia say, "See I told you Dad, I knew we could catch up". I'd have Olivia do the dirty work for better comic relief. Meanwhile the runner would be like what the ..

You can take a horse to water, but you may drown it..

You can take a horse to water
And with enough manpower you can try to force him to drink
But, there's a very good chance you will drown it in in the process
And you will end up in jail for cruelty to animals.

Moral of the story: You may be able to pressure family or a friend to do something that they aren't ready for. But, there's a good chances are it won't end up well for you or them.

Every notice that often times people as they pass through middle age, they start talking about dying and death a bit irrelevantly. While death has a sense of humor--see the Darwin awards--death isn't phased by our mocking it.

I always advise friends when dealing with relationship problems or if they feel like they are always being singled out to just admit up front: I know I'm a bad person. This will undermine your significant other's ability to blame or shame you. If you are 'sincere' enough, your significant other may even actually stick up for you and tell you your good points.

As a parent who likes to prepare his child for handling emergency situations (and is aware that she hears enough of it at her mom's place, at school and sometimes at my place), it occurred to me some great advice to give her. Somehow the topic came up of a fire somewhere. So, with my keen insight, I asked he what would she do if her clothes caught on fire. She said, "Stop, drop and roll". I said, "Good". I then asked her what we should do if we had a tire blow out on the road. She wasn't sure what to say, so I told her: "Stop, drop and roll". She looked at me like lost my mind. After mentioning a few other scenarios, she caught on to my brilliant advice and each time said, "Stop, drop and roll". I am so proud of my daughter <3

As we all know, this election season has literally gone on forever and at times we all wonder, "wow out of over 300,000,000, this is the best we can do"? Anyway, I thought, this hasn't exactly been the most honest campaign. Then I had an epiphany. Since, there is some question on the definition of "natural born citizen" and what not anyway,,why not just say forget it and let Julian Assange of WikiLeaks run for POTUS. Since it seems like everyone and their brother and sister has declared at one time or another this campaign, since this campaign has been plagued by hostility by all parties and since we all question the honesty of the candidates, Assange would be great. He'd make a perfect honesty and integrity candidate and we'd know we'd get the true story leaked out. So, why not.

On November 9th, I'm considering declaring my candidacy for the 2020 Presidential election, no matter who wins. My theme: R.A. Shepard/2020 for President: For my amusement. I figure when asked, candidates usually give some bogus, "Give back to the country", "Serve the nation", "Help others" or some other such answer. We all know the real answer is: Because I love the power and perks of the office. I'd just be cutting to the chase. I will be running for the Presidency such that if elected I will run the office and use my authority to test whatever theory I want to out. My plank will include:

Tenured professors at schools which receive government aid WILL BE REQUIRED to teach one whole semester wearing a jester hat. Then at the end of the semester they will compare and contrast how well that semester went for their students vs. semesters that they did not have to.
I will find some characteristic to discriminate on that isn't subject to anti-discriminatory laws and discriminate accordingly. For example, I could have a test group of men with goatees and women with curly hair. I could effectively push that those two groups get better treatment at tax time than all others. I would then see how those that do not fall in those groups react. Things I could survey for include:

How many not in the favored group would just take the abuse--I figure there are the self-loather subset.
The percentage of the population that purposely grows goatees or curls their hair just to get the beneficial treatment.

I could then stretch out the absurd favoritism to see how much further I could manipulate the populace to more and more absurd ends to gain advantage.
How many times, a Congress critter talks about reaching across the aisle and/or refers to their fellow Congress critters as "my friend on the other side of the aisle". Each time they are caught saying such cliched statements insincerely, they'd have power to their microphone be cut and they'd be sent to time out. I'd be curious how long it would take for them to stop using insincere cliched statements.

Confer that future primaries for the parties submit to an American Gladiator type competition to see which of each of the parties was most "fit" to serve.
Require that all those who want to serve in my administration be required to sing one of the following songs when testifying before Congress to get my nomination (This would buy the country great comic relief and would show me who really, really wants to serve at 'all cost')

I'd the spirit of transparency. I'd let the public know that I'd release the results of my survey findings in January 2024. This would give the public plenty of time to decide if they want for more year of my "unique" Presidency or they wanted the usual boring political theater.