Renaming songs appropriately: Tell Us What You Really Think

I wasn't going to write a new blog post today, BUT I was listening to the radio and "How to Save a Life" today came on.  I've always imagined an alternative title to it. You know how you hear a song and sometimes you just feel like the artist is trying to tell you something else besides what's in the song?  Anyway, this is just a short list of songs and how I would rename them if I bought the rights to them.  I would match the new titles of them to the message that I get out of out the song.  Obviously, everyone has their own list, and this is mine.  I realize I may offend a few people in the process, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.  Cheers.

1. How to Save a Life - The Fray
         becomes
    How to Whine a Song

2) Stressed Out - 21 Pilot
        becomes
    This Song Is Stressing Me Out

3) Soldier of Love - Donny Osmond
     I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me - Expose
     Love Touch - Rod Stewart
     Unskinny Bop - Poison 
        each becomes
    I Have No Self-Respect

4) Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
        becomes
     This is the Most Boring Song I've Ever Sang

5) Most U2 Songs
         become
     Could We Just Lighten Up a Little

6) All For Love - Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
         becomes
    All For Giving Away Our Man Card

7) Grenade - Bruno Mars
        becomes
    Please Throw a Grenade at Me

8) Never Going to Give You Up - Rick Astley
        becomes
    Never Going to be More Than an 1980s Joke

9) Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
       becomes
     Less Serious Artist

10) You Oughta Know - Alanis Morisette
         becomes
      You Oughta Know How Physcho I Feel
   

* In my opinion, a song that an established, renown , respected grown male artist should never have agreed to record.  I can imagine his British peers laughing at him and saying: "Now what were you thinking mate?"