The Cup Overfloweth: Spilling out all the angst.

So, it occurred to me the other day that sometime when I'm very upset or annoyed, I will think about and/or express everything that has bothered me for a while instead of just focusing on the irritant of the moment.   Anyway, so I was processing why I think that happens.  I've previously addressed why some small irritation might send someone over the edge in Heavy straws & a broken camel's back.  In that post I was really speaking about meltdowns that occur when a micro-irritation presented itself.  The micro-irritation isn't really the object of the meltdown, but instead was the straw that broke the camel's back.  In other words, it is the irritant that finally destroys a 'brave front' against the thing(s) that is/are really behind the meltdown.

I guess you could say this thought is a corollary to it.   Why is it sometimes when we finally blow up with others including creditors or dealers, that we go over a list of things that have annoyed us.  It occurred to view it this way.   Each irritant is difference fluid filling up our cup (of patience) so to speak.  

When I bought my 2011 Mazda 3, the dealership didn't go down as much on price as I wanted them to.  However, just wanting to get it over with, I accepted paying a couple hundred more than I thought I should.  Anyway, the dealership advertised it as having Satellite Radio in it, which it didn't. I figured it was just because it wasn't turned on from Sirius XM.  I didn't learn otherwise until I called Sirius and we figured it had the buttons for Sirius XM, but not the underlying receiver.  I was annoyed but was willing to figure something out with them (such as them paying for a dash-mounted receiver and service for a period of time).  Also, when negotiating with them, they indicated that another employee, who wasn't present at the time, had the second key.  I didn't care too much as I figured a) I only need one key to test drive, b) I was going to pick up the car at a later point and I'd just get it then and c) they'd been in business for a number of years, so I figured they knew what they were doing.  I found the next day when I went to pick up the car, that the second key didn't work, irritating me more, but they said they'd work with me on it.  Additionally, it had been years since I bought a used car from a dealer, so they indicated they were waiting on the updated title as it was sold to them just a few days ago.  They expected it all to be resolved by within a few days.  Suffice to say it wasn't resolved by the end of the week.  Anyway, they did eventually get the updated title for me so, I got past that irritant.  In addition, I'd never included taxes in the loan and so when they said I could cash the check or sign it over to the DOR (Dept. of Revenue), I figured they knew what they were talking about.  It was a long week and I was tired and endorsed it wrong due to their instructions.   As the temporary tag period was about to expire I finally had enough and demanded to talk to the head of the used car division.  After being told that this person and that person were in a meeting and I'd have to leave a message.  I exploded and told her in no uncertain terms that I would personally go up to the dealership and wait until the highest person in charge was available.   That got her attention and she got a hold of the head of the used car division.   So, he said this isn't normally how business is done that they got the car and the staff rushed it to the sales floor before it was ready.

Next day, with a check for taxes reprinted I went to the DOR ready to title it and found it that the emissions inspection wasn't done.  Suffice to say, I lost it again and the guy in charge said, he'd 'find the paperwork'.  Which meant, we will do the emissions inspection.  I could have called them out on their lack of candor, but since they did the emissions inspection right then and there, I dropped the thought.  They apologized profusely for the whole experience and I ultimately forgave them as I didn't want to stay mad. 

Think of each screw-up a being a small cup which contained different flavored drinks.   Each when added to the a larger cup, would mix together.  Now think of the larger cup being almost full.  If you continued to add small cupful to it, it will spill over.   It wouldn't just spill over the one last flavor, but it would spill over all the flavor that had been mixed in.  The larger cup represents the overall patience I had.  Each small cup represented a screw-up that exhausted some of my patience.  When added, just like the smaller cupfuls would disturb the contents of the larger, cup, each screw-up would irritate me a little more.  The final screw-up not only disturbed the contents of the larger cup, but it caused the larger cup to overflow.  When my patience was exhausted, just like part of each of the flavors would come spilling out, each screw-up came spilling up of mouth when I let the used car manager have it.

Maybe it's just like that for a lot of people, they can take this hit or that hit and seemingly keep their cool, but each hit really tends to pile on.  If they hadn't had a chance to properly digest the individual hits before they piled on, when their patience is finally exhausted they'd address each hit to their patience.

Anyway, just some thoughts for the day.  Hopefully this makes a little sense.  As always thanks for reading and feel free to take from the post whatever might find helpful.

Cheers,
Rich

How to succeed in life with a two-strike count!

I never really played baseball, but I have have been a lifelong fan and I know the rules of the game.  However, an interesting thing happened one year.  I used to play fantasy baseball and one year, I nearly won the league trophy and money. While I was competing hard for the league trophy, I started to pay closer attention to games.  I noticed something interesting.  Certain players tend to succumb to getting struck out or quick outs when they fall behind on the count.  However, the good hitters have the ability to flip the at-bat around when they fall behind on the count and some seem to even thrive when initially behind on the count.  So, I asked myself why is that?  Here is what I came up with.

• Those hitters to better able to focus, especially when put in a tough at-bat.  Adversity focuses them rather than rattles them.
• Those hitters believe in themselves and their abilities, even when the count is not in their favor.
• Those hitters have learned to fiercely battle rather than giving up or conceding.
• Those hitters have the patience to realize the key is hanging in long enough for things to turn their way.  That is until the pitcher makes a mistake.  As Carly Simon says in "Coming Around Again"- I know nothin' stays the same, But if you're willin' to play the game, It's comin' around again.  So, just keep in the game long enough and your luck will eventually turn.

I was talking to a friend the other day, and we put it all together.   In this life, some people are born with all the advantages, but don't necessarily succeed.  Like a batter who has a 3-0 count, but fails to get on base or move the runner(s) along.  Yet others are born in a seemingly hopeless environment, yet they succeed in spite of it.  This is like a batter who has an 0-2 count, but somehow find a way to end up on base or advance the runner(s).

A person born with an 0-2 count in life can succeed if they:

• Like a successful hitter find the ability to focus when the chips are down.
• Have someone who has believed in them along the way and therefore has shown them that that is safe to belief in him or herself. 
• Have the "can do" or "never give up" attitude.
• Realize if they battle long enough, with God's guidance, they will see the life take a turn in their favor.

In short, it is not how you start out that has to be the determinant factor of if you fail or succeed, but how you follow through.  If you are taught and/or learn to view yourself as capable of greatness, you will be more likely to succeed, even when adversity hits.  Inevitably the best students/players a) either start out slow or b) hit the wall at some point or c) both.  It is being able to look beyond the early failures and/or see past the wall that determines whether you'll inevitably be successful.  A good coach or educator will not just be one that is able to relate the X's and O's or the knowledge, but also one who is able to get his or her student/player to see themselves as being capable of learning or incorporating it successfully.

My takeaway:

• Do not take falling behind (or failures) as being a failure, but instead as an being an unexploited opportunity to be successful.
• The game isn't over until the last out or the last strike.  So, keep yourself in the game long enough to exploit an opportunity that will inevitably come along.
• Optimism or successes can be contagious.  So, don't be selfish, take the opportunity to pass it/them on.

 "Give a man a success and he'll have a successful day.  Teach or inspire him to succeed and he'll have a success life."