Paint by Numbers, useful in therapy, but a poor way to parent.

(In honor of Father's Day which is upon us tomorrow, I am re-posting and editing this blog at it still applies today as it did when it was originally written...) It is the best of times, it is the worst of times.   Those true words were spoken in "A Tale of Two Cities", but in a way that applies all the resources we have for parenting today.  We have so many 'experts' giving us advice on how to parent.  They tell us:

• What set of steps we should take when our kids won't listen.
• What illness or issue our kid may or may not have, the precise symptoms to look for and how to treat them.
• How to be reach out to your child and/or meet him or her on their level.
• What activities they should participate in to become an 'adjusted adult'.
• What 'decisions' or 'choices' we should allow them to have.
• What they should eat, what they shouldn't eat.
• What is a good structure for their day, week, month, year and life.
• Etc.

In other words, when in doubt, find the resource which tell us what to do and follow the script.   If suggested plan A doesn't work, try plan B.  If suggested plan B, doesn't work, try plan C.  You almost wonder how the hell previous generations survived into adulthood given what few resources they had relatively speaking.

No don't get me wrong, clearly having more resources and better resources is a good thing.  However, we should be careful not to replace 'real parenting' with a series of steps or Dr. Phil's daily wisdom.   We should not 'pray' to the gods of children's self-help books and take their wisdom as gospel.  Nor should we substitute verbatim a therapist or counselor's words for our own intuition.  In other words, you just can't apply "paint by numbers" technique to raising a child.  That is to say, mindlessly apply techniques based on an expected result and then be surprised or dismayed when your children don't do well with them.

There is absolutely no substitute for spending time with your child and getting to know him or her.  

See 2D vs. 3D relationships.  That was meant more so for romantic relationships, but much of the same concepts still apply.

While I understand and accept the notions of structure, discipline and consistency.  I believe that many people overlook or underutilize what I call "Intuitive parenting".   So, what does that look like?  Intuitive parenting to me includes some of the following:

• Paying attention or 'listening' to our kids.  We may perceive that they aren't doing what we want or need them to do because they just want to do what they want.  We also might perceive that they just don't want to listen us.  But often, there is a reason why they aren't 'listening', even if it is misguided.  Sometimes the key is asking the right question to them.  For example, if he/she is difficult about brushing their teeth, don't automatically assume it is because they are lazy or whatever.  It could be that the toothpaste they are using 'burns' their mouth.  Seek what is block, don't assume your kid is 
• Showing flexibility at obvious points.   
• When a child is throwing a fit or being difficult, it is easy to get into a shouting match, to give in or too play Freud with him or her.   Sometimes, you just need to go outside the usual techniques to disrupt the pattern.  For example, appeal to his or her funny bone.  If you can get them laughing, you may very well throw them off their 'tantrum' pattern.
• Too much rigidity in their schedule, can actually be a detriment.  
• For example, if he or she is having a horrible day, your child might just need you to waive the normal bedtime to give him or her a chance to talk about it with you without worrying about exact number of sleep hours.
• Sometimes you just have to alter the 'plan' for the day to take into account issues your child is having that day.  You could try to press on with the script for the day and scold your child when he or she interrupts or disrupts the script or you could change up the script a little avoid a blowup.
• Keeping track of what's important to him or her and without announcement showing that, especially at a point they could use it.  Sometimes, they just need a reminder that you love them and that what is important to them is important to you also.
• Completely mixing it up with him or her.  Being serious when it is appropriate to, but showing a lighter, even playful side.  Express that side when you see they could use it.

In short, not always sticking to a script or agenda and not following a set of "talking points", but being open enough to read your child their needs.  Not forgetting about his or her long terms needs, but not letting the push to fill those get in the way of meeting their immediate or short term emotional, mental and spiritual needs.

Hated it! Is it so wrong to hate sometimes?

Do you hear commercials, music, or jingles that there is no way to get around the fact that you hate them?

I mean sometimes to the point of not only can you not stand them, but sometimes where you just would like to go medieval on those involved?  Where you know you level of irritability outsizes the offending item?

Well, for fun, or at least to vent, I have to surrender the commercials, music or jingles that I viscerally hate.   I don't know if I will find agreement, laughter or shock with this list, but here goes a list of my top 10 least favorite or down right "hated it".

1. The Craftmatic Adjustable Bed commercial.  A few people express how the bed is good for their.  However, there is a least one older lady is over the top.  She too eagerly and excitedly exclaims, "MY BAD BACK LOVES MY CRAFTMATIC ADJUSTABLE BED".  I am like, "lady get a room with that bed".  It's almost as if we are being made to suffer her desire to become one with the bed and not in a healthy way.  :D                                                               
2. Tom Shane, the Shane Company.  Now he always kind of annoyed me, but over the holidays, in my book he completely destroyed his man card.  In the commercials, he portrayed himself asking some dopey guy what he'd get his lady for Christmas.  Clueless guy said, a vacuum cleaner or something to that effect.  Now, if that wasn't enough, that gender traitor--not using the b-word here--brought the lady on the line and had her shame and humiliate the clueless man.  I'm like whose side are you on Tom?  I'm like so you think its okay to portray the ambushing of a guy on the radio to get a buck.  Dude completely, lost my respect and business forever.  Let's just say, with him, I no longer have a friend in the diamond business.                                               
3. The Spin Doctors - Two Princes.   Is it so wrong when he whines, "If you wanna call me baby, just go ahead now"... to want to smack him one?  I know it's wrong and I know it shows latent hostility on my part, but for Pete's sake dude, don't whine about a woman.  It is not befitting of a grown man.  Just talk to the lady, tell her simply that she has to choose and make it clear if you don't hear from her, you'll assume she's made her choice.  Then move on.  Don't whine about your dilemma.                                                                                                                          
4. Vincent from ShamWow.  He talks on his mic headset on the commercial.  I can imagine him going everywhere with that mic headset: the store, a restaurant, home.  I can imagine him 'announcing' to his kids through it and them rolling their eyes and talking back to him, saying "Dad, you know that's really annoying".                                                                                          
5. Head-On, apply directly to the forehead.  Do I really have to explain this one?                                   
6. Mucinex.  Really having a depiction of slimy green mucous in the form of a mucous person is what everyone wants to see?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
7. Any shyster lawyer that advertises in off-peak hours and says if you or your loved one had this procedure, etc and it ended out in injury or death, call this number.   It occurred to me one time, if you were the victim of negligence and it ended in death for you, you wouldn't be calling them.   Just saying...                                                                                                                     
8. Brown and Brown.  In IL, 618 all 8s  (618-888-8888).   In MO, 314 all 3s (314-333-3333).  So, one time it occurs to me.  Given number 7 above, it occurred to me, that maybe they should put if you are calling from h*ll, call all 6s.  I know that's wrong, but sometimes our secret thoughts don't have any tact.  ;-)                                                                                                                         
9. Any commercial which expresses how some attorney will rescue you for pennies on the dollar if you are in trouble with the IRS.  Especially, the Alan Thicke ones.  I guess the acting gigs just aren't coming for him anymore?                                                                                                
10. I Will Survive.   That might have been an empowering song one day a long time ago, but now it just sounds like a tired, stale old song of a bygone area.  It just grates on me.  Is that so wrong to hate on it?

I'm bettering each of you who read this has your own "love to hate" list.  Anyway, I feel much better and thank you for letting me share.

Old Standby where they "Hated It"

Sabotage: When negative certainty feels better than uncertainty...

Ever have a physical ailment whose symptoms caused a good deal of discomfort, but you could not get to the bottom of what was wrong?  Whether or not you eventually got to the bottom of the problem, the uncertainty associated with it--of the prognosis,'cure' or course of treatment---caused a great deal of angst.    Alternatively, if we have a physical ailment which is obvious, we can immediately go into adjust, plan and fix-it mode.  That is to say we know what we are working and can focus on getting better or dealing with it effectively rather than stressing about what to do. The lesson we learn from that is  that sometimes a certainty--even if it is not a good one--is better than a unnerving uncertainty.  At least with a certainty, you could proceed to face up to the problem and determine a course of action: work to ameliorate the issue or symptoms or where that's not possible accept the outcome.

I started this particular entry a couple of weeks ago  (now 1/29/16), but got sidetracked.  I don't necessarily feel this way currently in my life, but I know I have felt this before.  Anyway, some of what I blog is personal experience, some of what I blog is insight from the experiences of others and some of what I blog is what occurs to me.  I don't claim everything I write is the absolute way it is.  Neither do I claim what I write works for everyone. But, I digress.  Some of this one is personal experience and some of it is what I've seen in others

I believe that relationships can roll this way also. While I am going to focus on romantic relationships, much of what I am talking about can apply to other relationships as well.   Anyway, when a relationship has a certain known quantity to it, a certain sense of peace and tranquility, a certain balance or sense of itself, even if it isn't perfect, it will have a good comfort level.  I believe that in some ways, people are creatures of comfort or familiar.  It is easier to deal with people when we have a fix on them and/or how they relate to us.  See 2D vs. 3D relationships for questions on how we understand (or don't) others.  In a sense, when there is contentment in this part of our lives, it is easier to want to keep things peaceful, not to make waves and just enjoy our "time out on the water".   We are more likely to feel this way in what I call a 3D relationship.

HOWEVER, I believe when we don't have a good fix on a relationship, such as with what I call a 2D relationship, we tend to feel like a boat this not moored or anchored.  That is we tend to be at the mercy of the elements.  Unease can take the following forms:

• Uncertainty with what our significant other is really feeling about things including us.
• Uncertainty with how to talk to or relate to our SO (significant other), sometimes to the point of walking on eggshells.
• Uncertainty of how we actually fit into the relationship and/or if the relationship has a future.

So, what is the natural responses to uncertainty in relationships?

• Working with the other to figure out the relationship.
• Counseling
• Working on communication aka 'talking it through'
• Letting the uncertainty build up and take deep roots.
• Resentment develops.
• The sense of connection starts to die off.
• Consciously or subconsciously behaving in such a way to end the uncomfortable (and sometimes brutal) uncertainty.
• Could be pressing our SO until we get some sort of answer, good or bad.
• Could be engaging in destructive behavior and caring less and less about the consequences.  
• In a way, it is effectively like having a death wish for a relationship.
• We want peace, but we can't have peace, yet we don't know how to get peace, yet we need it, yet we don't want to deal with consequences of what we might have to go through to get peace.  In a way, it is easier just throwing a stick of dynamite at the relationship and run like hell, hoping not don't have to face the fallout from the explosion.

I guess the takeaway from this particular blog is the following:

• Focus on getting to know your partner, not knowing about him or her, but actually 'getting him or her'.  This will leave less room for damaging uncertainty.
• Understand that some degree of uncertainty in life is unavoidable.  While it is not desirable, up to a certain point, it can/should be tolerable.   After all, our partner is another person with their own separate feelings and concerns.  We can't be perfect in understanding each other.
• It is best to put things out there sooner rather than later.  While there is a risk of upsetting the apple cart, isn't it best to find that out whether the apple cart was even stable sooner rather than later? 
• Denying or not facing problems doesn't make them go away.
• Potentially, you've wasted time and effort on something that really wasn't stable, when you could have discovered it sooner.
• Potentially, you've delayed the healing process.

The world is fully of uncertainty, yet life goes on.  Similarly, relationships can be full of uncertainty.  Isn't it better just to work on it and find out if the uncertainty can be removed or lessened rather than letting life go by wondering when the bottom could fall out?

Thanks for your read.

Rich

Low-hanging fruit: A starting point or a block?

In honor of the upcoming new year and the tradition of setting goals and resolutions, I decided to blog on a concept has been rolling around in my mind for a while.  I think it is appropriate to determine what the purpose of low-hanging fruit we are going after in this context.  Here goes:

Dictionary.com defines low-hanging fruit as:

• a course of action that can be undertaken quickly and easily as part of a wider range of changes or solutions to a problem.

I've heard/seen this phrase used in multiple context.  One winter I heard Cardinals management talking about there off-season efforts to build a winning team for the next year.   The phrase "low-hanging fruit" was used to describe their initial efforts.   For impatient fans it appeared that management was rewarding their loyalty by going after the inexpensive, easy to sign, and apparently
mediocre talent at the expense of trading for/signing the greater impact, harder to get players.  It appeared as if the front office was letting possible free agents/trades go by under their nose, while they picked up questionable help.

In my own personal life and from what I've seen in others, going after low-hanging fruit can serve one of two purposes:

• It can be a way to ramp up, to gear up, to get in the spirit of or to build momentum towards accomplishing a larger goal or a circumstance.
• When working on a large project at work, sometimes working on the most difficult part of the it can cause discouragement.  Working on and/or solving a smaller part of the puzzle can give momentum or ideas on how to proceed on the larger piece(s).  
• When cleaning around the house, cleaning out one room at a time or even one portion of one room at a time can make the job seem less intractable.
• When processing a major loss (such as a death), it can simply to difficult to decompress the whole loss at once.  Sometimes, it helps just to deal with the aspects of it immediately in front of you rather than get paralyzed dealing with the whole ramifications of the loss.

• It can be a way to avoid dealing with the larger goal or circumstance.
• Denial - If you are focused on some aspect of the goal or circumstance, then you can pretend to yourself that you are dealing with the problem.  After all, "you are making progress" or so you tell yourself.
• Paying on time.  Having a 12 month interest free loan and making the minimum payment for the first 10 months, telling yourself that you are going to pay it off in full before the end of the year.  Sure you are making some progress, but you still have most of the bill to pay off.
• Working on the perfect eulogy, when you haven't picked the mortuary or burial location.  Words are helpful in facing a death, but they don't create the same finality in your mind as discussing where to hold a funeral or bury the body of your loved one.
• Avoidance - Picking a route to a goal that doesn't fit or explanation that doesn't make sense.  In other words, creating a diversion or to give the appearance of facing what you need to.
• In dieting this might take the shape of switching to diet soda while not changing your larger eating habits.  Making the small switch will not by itself lead to the larger goal.
• In counseling, an example might take the shape of griping about a new friend when you have been dealing with the pain/guilt of a close relative for a long time.  While problems with your friendship probably are causing you some consternation, it really isn't addressing the deeper hurt you are facing.

Sometimes it is hard to know whether you are addressing a goal or issue one step at a team, easing into it or you are just throwing out obstacles to dealing with what you need to.  Sometimes, this takes reflection.  Sometimes this takes a close friend to determine.   Sometimes, the difference is so subtle that it can take a trained professional to spot.  Either way, it is best to figure out early on.

Just some thoughts for the day.  Hope this helps someone.

Rich

(Originally written 12/31/15, but still hold true today)

And now for something really different: Fun ways to mess with people's mind

 

I've posted a bit on this in another blog entry ""The 'insane' little voice in our head and entertaining ourselves"", but I thought I'd reiterate and add a few new gems

Life is full of serious moments.  Sometimes it is spending time with at family functions, sometimes it is working on a serious project at work, sometimes it is burying a relative, sometimes it is interviewing for a job, sometimes it is trying to get a loan, and sometimes it is another stressful encounter with the world.

For me, the best way to break up the seriousness is to flake out a little.  One of the ways I like flaking out is messing with people's minds.  It helps if the victim of said encounter has a sense of humor, but sometimes it is funner if said victim DOESN'T have a sense of humor.

For Christmas and the upcoming new year try these ways to mess with the mind of others.

1. One of the all time classics:  When someone is talking to you, ask them in a serious voice after you've heard them clearly, "What?"  Keep a serious demeanor when you do this.  They will either look at you and be like, you heard me or they will say in an agitated voice "nevermind".  If you get them to repeat themselves twice or get them to say nevermind, declare aloud to them, "I win."

2) When someone is talking to you and it is clear they need feedback like a nod or word in agreement, deny them that and just stare at them in a worried fashion as if to say they are crazy.  Once again, if they are unnerved by this, declare, "I win".

3) For those well into their adulthood when you are over a friend or family member's house and are sitting down.  When you get up, bend over a little and put your hand across your back and say, "Owwww".  When they ask, "Are you okay?", you say, just kidding.  Then you announce winning again.

4) When you are talking with someone who is sitting down while you are standing up, walk back and forth without announcing what your intention is.  If their eyes follow you, they will probably say, "stop that".  Once again, announce winning.

5) Make a lot of noise as if you are falling down the stairs and when they say are you okay, yell like you are hurting, "I'm fine don't worry".  If they fall for it, announce winning.

6) Hurry ahead of them and hide around a corner.  As they are strolling in and about to reach you, yell "Boo".  If they fall for it and you scare them, announce winning.

7) In church when everyone is singing a hymn, change the words to funny words--keeping them clean of course--and see if the people around you notice.  

8) When you are at the counter, ask the clerk for something you know they don't carry.  When they apologize and say they don't have it, say with a straight and serious face, "Why do you hate me?".  If they get all defensive and say I don't hate you, say just kidding.  Announce winning.

9) When you run into someone you know and they start talking to you.  Stop them for a minute and say, "who are you again?".  If they fall for it, say just kidding and announce winning.

10) When you are passing by strangers in the store out of the blue and looking away from them, "Say quietly, Shut-up they will hear you" when you aren't on the phone or nobody is around you..  Look over and say, "I'm sorry you had to hear that" and wait for their uneasy response.

11) One of my favorite, lightly pushing your kid into a wall and say, "Why'd you run into the wall?".  They will look at you like, "Really?"

12) Have an obscure name ready--one that they will know--such as Sam Donaldson.  When they are trying to recollect who is an actor in a movie, what is the name of the music group or singer, say "Ooh, ooh, I know.  It's Sam Donaldson".  When they look at you, like you are nuts, announce winning.

13) When you are in a store, raise your voice and pretend to be talking rudely to someone and yell, "goodbye" and act like you are hanging up.  Look at the person in line next to you and say, "I'm sorry that was my parole officer".   If they fall for it, announce winning.

14) Announce on a pretend call in a loving voice, "Don't worry baby, daddy will take care of you."  When someone looks up say, "I'm I'm sorry, that was my cat."  Watch their shocked response and announce winning.

15) Play frisbee in the park with a friend with a pretend frisbee and see how many people are looking for the frisbee.

16) Change your ringtone to person screaming in horror and when in public have a friend call you.  Watch the surprised responses you get.

17) When you friend gripes about someone, say matter of factly, "Just kill em, that will send a message to the rest of them."  Watch you friend look at you like you are crazy.

18) When you go over a friend or family member who has a beloved cat.  Grab the cat and act like you are going to take it with you and say, "Well it's been good seeing you. Hope to see you again soon."

19) Ask your boss, when he has a fire alarm just outside his office, why he gets all the fun.  He looked at me like, you are crazy.

20) Tell a person who is near a landmark birthday, but not at it that they look good for 30 (when they are 28 or 29), 40 (when they are 38 or 39), etc.

You can add to this list with your own.  Remember a mind is a terrible thing not to mess with.

Cheer and Merry Christmas

Tell me all your thoughts on God: One person's understanding of his Higher Power

With the Christmas holiday approaching, I got an idea for a blog which I think is appropriate: God and his relationship to his creation.

I was talking to my fiancee about my understand of God and how I felt there was no way that I could, in this lifetime, really hope to appreciate the awesome, dynamic and profoundness of God.  Obviously, I can get a biblical understanding of Him, can feel His presence in my life and see Him in nature, but I know I am limited that way, just based on my finite nature.

I don't claim to have all the answers, nor do I claim that I even have a fraction of the answers.  However, I feel that God has given me some insight or at least a way of understanding of Him as I see the world around me.

• How can one God be a Trinity?
• I've heard it explained this way: ice, water and steam are made of up the same essence-- H2O.   Yet, they are each have distinctly different forms and purposes.  But, all together, each come from the same pool of elements
• Why was Jesus take the form of a baby.
• We needed someone who would understand or experience the human condition from childhood to adulthood.  Someone who would be subject to that which we are subject from an early age, through adulthood.  In short, we needed someone who would experience the trials and tribulations we would from childhood to and through adulthood, yet be able to successfully navigate them.  In other words, He needed to be shown that he could be blameless, experiencing the human experience.  In short, we needed a perfect man to atone for us.
• Why did Jesus have to shed his blood on the cross and die for us?
• This one always eluded me.  For me it was always a big mystery.  From the best of my understanding.  Let's start with sin: 
• Sin is a crime against the perfect nature of God, just like infidelity is a crime against a marriage or theft is crime against another party and/or the state.   Our soul can survive our sinful nature and be in harmony with God, but there is a heavy price that has to be paid. A marriage can survive infidelity, but there is a heavy price to pay for it usually it.  Society can survive theft, but there has to be punishment to atone for it and deter additional theft.
• Just like a marriage cannot effectively survive unrepentant infidelity and a society cannot effectively survive unpunished theft, our relationship with God cannot survive sin that has not be atoned for.
• Okay, I've talked about why the need for some form of atonement but someone else paying?
• A devastated spouse can forgive, but he or she has be able to absorb a lot of hurt. If he or she isn't willing to absorb the hurt, the marriage cannot survive.  
• A theft requires paying back what has been stolen and a recognition of how wrong it is.  Someone has to bear the cost of the theft in terms of $$ and punishment or risk society being damaged further.  The someone might be the father of the thief who doesn't want his son to be have a tarred record following him around.
• Similarly, sin is such a profound assault on our relationship with God, that we cannot pay it back ourselves.  Jesus has to intervene.
• Why Jesus and why dying on the cross?
• Why dying on the cross?
• Sin is so destructive that it takes a huge sacrifice to atone for it.
• It is a sacrifice we don't have the capacity to make.
• The atonement could not be a simple I'm sorry and I won't do it again.  It had to be profound like dying for us.  Sin is a poison, the poison had to be absorbed by someone.  We all know what happens when you absorb too much poison.  The only way to get rid of poison is to clear it out.  In Jesus' case that was bleeding it out.
• Why Jesus?
• He is an infinite being.  He could atone for all sins past, present and future for everyone.  A simple man could not atone or take the fall for all of mankind's sins.  Imagine a simple man trying to do the same for everyone.  Jesus by being both God and infinite Deity could cover both the huge number of sin we individually commit.  Imagine the number of sins being multiplied by the billions of people that have lived or will live.  His infinite nature would always cover all sins that could/would ever be committed.
•  He was a man.  Sins are committed against the Father by mankind and therefore a representative of mankind would have to be the one to atone.
• He is all powerful.  His soul could take the poison and punishment required to atone for all mankind's sins. 
• Why doesn't forgiveness come automatically.  In other words, why do we have to accept his gift of salvation?
• Imagine you are before a judge in a court of law after you commit a crime. As part of a plea bargain someone agreed to take the punishment for you.  Your part in the plea bargain would be to acknowledge your guilt and to actually accept the plea bargain.
• How can we conceptualize God?
• His Word is the best starting point, obviously, it gives the different aspects of His nature, including that of the Trinity.
• I believe we have his Word and we have glimpses of Him all of nature.  However, I believe none of this will prepare us for Him.  I believe we will be blown away with His awesome nature.  The closest thing I could think of is this.
• A dot sees itself as a complete being.  It sees a circle as related to him, but it sees a circle as a more profound.  A dot would be blown away by a sphere and above.  It has some clues about a sphere, but clearly cannot understand the sphere's magnitude.
• A circle sees a dot as a simple being and sees a sphere as a more awesome being.  It sees itself in being in the presence of sphere (and above), but not near as profound as it. 
• A sphere (and above) sees a dot as a very simple being, but is protective of it.  It sees a circle is something that has its nature, but is still not as awesome as it.
• Out of a sphere come a dot and circle.  So, clearly the sphere recognizes the dot and circle for what they are.  I
• The dot is man, the circle is angelic/spirits, the sphere and above is clearly God in this picture.
• Why is God portrayed as the Father?
• We tend to understand the family the family unit.  The Father is usually considered both firm in nature, but has a gentle loving side as well.
• I've heard it is important for a father to be a good leader because he represents the father who is seen.  If we do not trust or have father in our seen father, it makes it all the harder to have faith and trust in our unseen father.

Tis the season for music: poetic music is like a rare pearl.

I'm not sure when it hit me, but I've always related life to music and music to life.   Anyone who knows me realizes this.  I have always realized that writing good lyrics and good music to accompany isn't easy.  As I've gotten more involved in writing I've come to realize a good idea, concept or thought is a process that evolves.  I have found that while an idea may come together within a day, an hour or literally minutes, generally the formless or structured thought has been circling around in my mind for a while.  Sometimes, all it takes is a little nudge, conversation or event to crystallized the idea.  Music I believe flows similarly.

Quality music is art in words, a story that is put to a symphony of sound.   Sometimes it can be a simple statement like "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons in which the lead singer tells his struggles to get to where he is now in a poetic fashion.  He tells how he hasn't lost himself in the process.  The musical arrangement on the song I believe is time perfectly to the story.  It slowly builds as his story is told and it hits a crescendo as he expresses how he has kept himself in the process of his personal and career development.  Sometimes, it can be a more complex story.

Either way, having poetic lyrics effectively written and then tied to sound from what I see is a process that evolves over time.   From what I see, it is a process that for most successful musicians/songwriters happens only a few times in life, just as pearls are a rare gift from oysters.

We take it for granted, but I believe that even the most talented songwriters and musicians realize this and they try to strike gold when they are in the zone.

Anyway, just a thought.  So, please take with the me the opportunity to enjoy a Christmas treasure with me while appreciating this thought.

Merry Christmas,
Rich